


le sourire d'une larme

by bratzhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bratzhyuck/pseuds/bratzhyuck
Summary: Donghyuck's still sleeping in bed, the sun barely entering the room though the shutters half open and the sight of his hair spread out on his pillow along with his golden legs peeking out from under the covers would have made Jaemin breathless if he wasn't in such a good mood.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 83





	le sourire d'une larme

**Author's Note:**

> very short slash rushed nahyuck just because i wanted to <3

Jaemin feels like shit.

It was a boring day at school and it would have been okay if he hadn't also gotten a bad grade on the assignment he spent weeks working on and a new one to turn in the next day. It also starts raining the moment Jaemin steps outside and he just can't wait to be home.

When he gets to his flat, he stays in the entrance for a few seconds, thinking. He could go to Renjun to rant about how awful his day was and Renjun would listen, he'd probably even give him advice on how to feel better -stuff like lighting up candles or taking a warm shower- but it's another form of comfort Jaemin seeks.

One only one person can give him.

So Jaemin drags his feet in the appartment silently, leaving his bag and his coat on his way, promising himself he'll put them away later or Jeno would annoy him about it anyway, but his mind is elsewhere on the moment.

He knocks twice and it takes only three seconds for Donghyuck to open the door.

When he sees him, Jaemin can't help but pout like a kid immediatly and Donghyuck's expression softens. He probably knows what's coming with a single look at Jaemin's face but he doesn't say anything and he moves on the side to let him come in.

"You're drenched." Donghyuck says matter-of-factly and indeed, Jaemin can feel drops of water falling on his neck from his wet hair but he smiles.

"I wanted to see you."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes but he's smiling so Jaemin's smile gets wider. "Dry yourself first." He still tells him, ignoring Jaemin's whine.

Jaemin doesn't waste any time though, and he takes one of Donghyuck's towels laying on his chair to quickly dry his hair before changing into some of Donghyuck's clothes. He likes them because they're big and comfortable and they smell a bit different even though they use the same detergent. If Donghyuck used to complain about it, saying he never had clothes for himself since Jaemin stole them all, he doesn't say anything anymore.

Now too, he doesn't even look up from his phone when Jaemin turns around after he's done and Jaemin jumps on his bed to lay next to him. He's about to take Donghyuck's phone to put it away so he can have his attention but he doesn't have to, Donghyuck turns it off himself before throwing it somewhere on the bed.

Jaemin rests his head on Donghyuck's chest with a satisfied smile and they stay like that for a while.

It's always like that. Whenever Jaemin feels down, he feels the need to see Donghyuck, the only one able to comfort him. He's not sure when it started, if it was after Renjun and Jeno both failed at making him feel better, or when he realized Donghyuck was just as affectionate as him, but only Donghyuck agrees to lay with Jaemin for sometimes hours either in complete silence or listening to his complaints and it turned out that was just what Jaemin needed.

Today's one of the days Jaemin doesn't want to talk so he stays with his head on Donghyuck's chest and listens to his heartbeat. It's calm. It's always calm and slow when they're together to the point Jaemin wonders if he fell asleep, and then it's always the same.

Jaemin looks up at Donghyuck and no matter if he has his eyes closed, if he's looking at his phone or at the ceiling, he always looks back at Jaemin. They look at each other without a word, both waiting for the other to move first.

Donghyuck moves first.

"It's so easy to kiss you when you look at me like that." He says before leaning in and Jaemin slightly lifts his head to meet him halfway.

That, he remembers when it started.

The first time, it was just another day of Jaemin feeling sad and seeking Donghyuck's company. He came to his room whining about how he needed a hug and Donghyuck let him, because he had already agreed to it the moment he opened the door.

Honestly, if Jaemin thinks about it, he and Donghyuck were never the closest. Jaemin only knew him as Jeno's friend and he had never even met him before he moved in with them, but they needed another roommate to help them pay the rent and Jaemin was no one to refuse the help.

He didn't really mind his presence either -most of the times he didn't even know if Donghyuck was even present or not. Jeno had explained to him that he mostly took evening classes because he was more of a night-person, so if Jaemin never saw him it was probably because Donghyuck slept most of the day and Jaemin almost never got out of his room after 7PM.

They did run into each other sometimes, and the few interactions Jaemin had with Donghyuck were enough to make him think Donghyuck was nothing like any of the people he knew. Talking to him felt weirdly warm, but also unsettling.

Eventually, after a couple of months and some outings all four of them, they got closer -the alcohol they often drank and both of them being clingy drunks probably did most of it- but Jaemin didn't know if they were consdidered friends, even after they started their cuddling sessions. They never really talked about it, and before Jaemin could even ask if they were, it happened.

It wasn't the first time they cuddled in bed together but just as Jaemin was about to fall asleep, right here on Donghyuck's chest, he felt Donghyuck's fingertips on his bare skin right above his hip. He was probably just trying to hold him closer, to get in a more comfortable position, but it was warm.

One would think it was because Donghyuck still hadn't gone out of bed once that day, but Jaemin knew it was just as warm to hold Donghyuck's hand in the pouring rain.

Maybe if Donghyuck hadn't touched him like that they wouldn't have kissed.

Now, it's something they do a lot more than friends would -which would be never- and Jaemin's not sure if they're friends or if they're something in between. Maybe they're nothing, but it doesn't really matter to Jaemin.

After all, Jaemin also goes to Donghyuck when he's heartbroken.

"You really have a soft heart, Na Jaemin." Donghyuck smiles in his hair and Jaemin kicks him in the shin.

He's currently sobbing in Donghyuck's arms, recounting how that nice boy from his class rejected him earlier and he came straight to Donghyuck.

"He was so nice." Jaemin sniffles.

Donghyuck hums. He's playing with his hair and Jaemin doesn't know if it's to comfort him or just to busy his hands but he's grateful anyway because it does make him calm down a bit.

"You know you can't keep falling in love with anyone that's nice to you." Donghyuck always speaks in a quiet voice when Jaemin's sad, it sounds like a melody. "You'll get hurt."

"Well, too late for that!" Jaemin tries to get up, sulky, but Donghyuck keeps him down. He doesn't really want to get away anyway.

"Nah, you'll be okay, it wasn't anything that serious until now." He ignores Jaemin complaining that this time he was, to sit up straight and look at Jaemin still laying down from above. "We wouldn't do that if it was."

Jaemin feels a bit taken aback, not because their faces are so close or because Donghyuck's looking at him right in the eyes, but because it's the first time they do as much as mentionning the nature of their relationship.

He tries to think of what to say but he's not fast enough and he just has the time to close his eyes when Donghyuck leans in.

Jaemin's quick to fall in love, it's true.

When someone looks at him for a bit longer, when someone shoots a nice smile his way, he feels his heartbeat fasten a bit and he thinks he's in love.

Renjun tells him he's too careless with his feelings, and that he should cherish them more but Jaemin likes to love like no one else and so he likes to be loved just as much.

But he's never loved just as much.

For some reason, nothing ever goes right, and Jaemin always ends up with his heart broken. He doesn't think it's because people don't like him, they actually do. He gets confessed to, he goes on dates, he loves, but it always ends before it even starts. Jaemin's not sure about what he's doing wrong, but it never works out.

Maybe it's because he's too quick to love but they always tell him it doesn't feel right. If Jaemin's being honest, he knows deep down that it didn't exactly feel right either, but he thought that was normal in the beginning.

Jaemin always ends up with his heart crushed, but he's just as quick to fall out of love as he is to fall in love. Maybe that's what's wrong.

When he's heartbroken, he goes to Donghyuck and it feels better. He doesn't even remember how he used to manage before he had him, but now everything feels easy.

Donghyuck hugs him with tired eyes when he just woke up, laughs playfully when he finds Jaemin cute and kisses him until eventually Jaemin forgets.

The moment Jaemin finds himself surprised is when he gets good news and he wants to see Donghyuck too.

The morning he gets his exams results, the first person he thinks of is Donghyuck. He tries to push the thought away at first, wondering why he's popping up in his mind at such a moment but when he's talking with his classmates and he still has the image of Donghyuck in his head, he suddenly feels that he really wants to see him.

Jaemin doesn't think much when he barges into Donghyuck's room after rushing home when class ended.

Donghyuck's still sleeping in bed, the sun barely entering the room though the shutters half open and the sight of his hair spread out on his pillow along with his golden legs peeking out from under the covers would have made Jaemin breathless if he wasn't in such a good mood.

Jaemin jumps on his bed and Donghyuck slowly opens his eyes, finally waking up from the noise. He meets eyes with a beaming Jaemin and a soft smile creeps on his face.

"I aced my exams!" Jaemin almost shoves him his report card in the face and Donghyuck giggles as he pushes his hand away.

"That's great, Jaem." Donghyuck smiles, still in the middle of waking up.

Jaemin feels amazing. He doesn't know if it's because of the sunny weather, his results or Donghyuck but he feels amazing and he can't stop smiling.

"Could you not lay on top of me?" Donghyuck mutters after a few seconds and Jaemin shakes his head.

"It's comfortable." He can't takes his eyes off his report card that he's holding above his head proudly.

They stay silent for a while, Jaemin thinking about how he passed his semester and Donghyuck probably falling back asleep -at least that's what Jaemin thought until he heard him speak again, a few minutes later.

"I've never seen you so happy." Jaemin glances at him and when he sees Donghyuck staring at him, he puts his report card away to hug him properly. He knows Donghyuck's just saying that, that he means that Jaemin's just too excited right now, but he can't help thinking that it's true he only comes to Donghyuck when he's feeling down.

"I'm always happy when I'm with you." Jaemin blurts out. It's the truth, he always leaves Donghyuck's room feeling better, but it suddenly feels a bit too intimate telling him that.

"Me too." Donghyuck still answers and that's enough to make Jaemin calm down.

As he looks at Donghyuck glowing under him, Jaemin thinks it's so easy to kiss him when he looks like that.

"Is there something going on between you and Donghyuck?"

Jaemin almost chokes on his drink when he suddenly hears Jeno's voice from behind him. He turns around to see him standing by the kitchen table where Jaemin was sitting at seconds ago.

"You scared the fuck out of me Jeno." Jaemin sighs in relief before putting back the bottle of milk he was holding in the fridge.

"So is there?" Jeno doesn't let him change topics. He even takes a seat and Jaemin thinks he _has_ to get away from this conversation.

However Jaemin's not a skillfull liar and he's not really good at distracting people either so he just stands there, hoping some external force would help him. But of course, nothing happens and Jeno raises an eyebrow at Jaemin's silence.

"Listen, I know you two have a... peculiar relationship but-" Jeno starts.

"Why, did he say anything?" Jaemin interrupts him, suddenly nervous.

Jeno is Donghyuck's best friend. As far as Jaemin knows, they've known each other since forever, long before Jeno even met him and Renjun and it seems like they tell each other everything, from the most trivial things to the most important ones but that never apperead like a big deal to Jaemin.

Even if they never talked about it, he thought they silently agreed that they shouldn't tell their friends what they do, because it wasn't anything important to begin with.

Thinking about it, since they never said so explicitely, it is very possible that Donghyuck mentionned it to Jeno.

It's not like Jaemin would really mind, Renjun and Jeno would probably just tease them about it, but thinking that Donghyuck might have just talked about him makes him feel weird.

Jeno seems to catch on Jaemin's restlessness because he suddenly looks like he's searching for his words.

"Not really..." His voice trails off. "Anyway, you should talk to him about it."

"It's not like there's anything!" Jaemin feels his face get hotter. It's weird, he shouldn't get so defensive.

Jeno only shrugs before exiting the room, leaving Jaemin all worked up alone.

Jaemin thinks about it. It's not like they're hiding but he doesn't think they're that obvious either -they barely hang out the four of them and when they do Jaemin and Donghyuck talk normally- so Jaemin comes to the conclusion that Donghyuck must have said something.

What's bothering him is that doesn't know _what_.

Maybe he just said they're closer than Renjun and Jeno think and Jeno imagined things by himself, but what if it's something else? Jaemin wants to hit himself for thinking that. There's nothing between them, they both made it quite clear before, but Jaemin's been feeling weird lately and a lot of unnecessary thoughts are bothering him.

It doesn't help that he's been seeing Donghyuck a lot more lately.

It's partly his fault, he finds himself going to his room even when he has no reason to, just to kill time, just to see him, but that's not that surprising from Jaemin. He's easily bored and Donghyuck's often the only one around at home with Renjun and Jeno still having finals.

What's more surprising is that Donghyuck actually comes out from his room during the day now and he seems to have taken a liking to clinging to Jaemin.

"Hey, Jaem."

Like right now.

Donghyuck's laying on the couch with his head on Jaemin's lap and it feels like the roles have been reversed for once.

Jaemin thought he was sleeping since he'd been silent for almost half an hour -and honestly even if Donghyuck tried to live during the day like a normal human being, he still fell asleep whenever he could, not used to this new lifestyle. He hums in answer but doesn't look away fom his phone so Donghyuck grabs it and holds it out of Jaemin's reach.

"What?" Jaemin finally glances at him.

"Nothing." Donghyuck grins.

"Give me back my phone then." Jaemin sighs.

"Take it if you can."

Donghyuck's playful, too playful, and when Jaemin reaches for his phone he takes the opportunity to grab his neck and press a kiss on his jaw.

Jaemin's so startled he immediatly covers the spot Donghyuck just kissed with his hand. He knows he's blushing and it's bad, very bad.

"What's that?" Donghyuck giggles at Jaemin's reaction. "Haven't we done much worse?"

"You just took me by surprise." Jaemin clears his throat.

At that, Donghyuck sits up straight so he's at eye-level with Jaemin. "Then can I now?" He asks in a low voice.

It feels a lot different than all the other times before, and somehow Jaemin feels that their relationship just took a turn but he can never say no to Donghyuck.

When they're all done with their exams, the four of them decide to go for drinks.

Jaemin's not an heavy drinker but Jeno and Donghyuck both are and Renjun just likes the fun so he goes with them, knowing he'll probably be sick in the morning.

And as expected, he's wasted long before the others are.

Before he can try kissing Renjun who's struggling to get away from his weirdly strong embrace considering how drunk he is, they all decide that he should go home first and Donghyuck volunteers to take him home. Jaemin starts blabbering about how nice he is to leave Jeno and Renjun alone but Renjun kicks him out before he can say anything that he would make him regret later.

Once the fresh air hits his face, Jaemin instantly feels a little bit better, but he still can't think straight -nor walk straight, so Donghyuck holds him by the waist.

"You're lucky we decided to go to a place close to our flat." Donghyuck laughs when he sees how wasted Jaemin actually is.

"Don't be mean." Jaemin's words are sloppy.

They walk peacefully for a while until Jaemin feels he can't go on anymore and decides to plop down on the sidewalk. The street where they stopped is empty and silent but Jaemin's so loud it feels like there's at least five people with them.

"You know I'm just so sad, Hyuck." Jaemin says that with a bright smile which makes Donghyuck frown.

"Why are you smiling then?"

"I don't know." Jaemin chuckles before attempting to lay down on the sidewalk. When Donghyuck tells him not to, he suddenly straightens his back. "Come here." He pats the spot next to him and Donghyuck sighs before sitting down.

Jaemin puts his head on Donghyuck's shoulder. "I got my heart broken again today."

"By who?" Donghyuck scoffs. He doesn't think he even saw Jaemin go out today.

"I don't remember. Maybe it was yesterday." Jaemin yawns. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I think it doesn't matter anymore." He sighs.

"Yeah, that's often how it goes with you." Donghyuck laughs.

"No! I mean..." He lifts his head to look at Donghyuck, a frown on his face, but when they meet eyes he suddenly changes topics. "Have you said anything to Jeno?"

"About what?" Donghyuck tilts his head.

Jaemin feels very confused. He shouldn't have drank that much because now he can barely recall what he's doing on the ground and why Donghyuck is with him and he doesn't know what he's saying.

"About us?" He says, but it sounds more like a question.

"There's an us?" Donghyuck smiles.

Jaemin doesn't know. He doesn't know anymore, but he knows his head hurts like hell right now and that he should probably stop talking.

"Well, I'm Jaemin and you're Donghyuck! Together we're with Jaemin and Donghyuck, it's us!" He suddenly starts laughing as he gets up as well as he can.

Donghyuck stands up too and he looks like he wants to say something but Jaemin's already going ahead, blabbering about the trees and the houses around them, so he stays shut.

The following day, Jaemin feels like shit.

It was to be expected, it never ends up well for him when he drinks and he should even consider himself lucky that he didn't throw up this time but honestly he doesn't want to do anything today.

The appartment is silent, the others probably still sleeping too and Jaemin closes back his eyes, registering the sound of the chirping birds outside, the cars passing by.

Jaemin wakes up again in the afternoon and this time, he feels like if he stays another second in his room he's going to suffocate.

He gets up slowly, processing his headache and how sore his muscles feel, before heading to the kitchen to get water.

As he drinks, he checks his phone to see a text from Renjun saying that he went out with Jeno to buy some groceries and that they won't be back until the evening. Jaemin pouts, he wanted to hang out with them.

Right when he pockets his phone, he hears noise coming from Donghyuck's room and he smiles to himself.

The moment Donghyuck opens the door, Jaemin wraps his arms around his neck with a huge smile plastered on his face. "I'm bored, hang out with me."

Donghyuck looks tired but he nods anyway before closing the door behind Jaemin.

Jaemin feels the atmosphere is a bit different than usual but he doesn't think much of it and he lies down on Donghyuck's bed as he always does. Donghyuck lies next to him without a word and Jaemin thinks maybe he still wants to sleep. He snuggles into Donghyuck's arms and brushes his nose against his neck.

"How did we get home yesterday?" Donghyuck might be sleepy but Jaemin's bored.

"You don't remember?" Donghyuck takes Jaemin's hand into his and starts playing with his fingers. He feels Jaemin shake his head on his chest. "I took you home. Renjun and Jeno came back later."

Jaemin hums with a smile thinking about his friends.

He doesn't say anything else and starts listening to Donghyuck's heartbeat. It's always calm but sometimes, when Jaemin grabs his waist or kisses his neck, he can hear it fasten a little, and he feels his own heartbeat follow.

It's fast now though.

Jaemin frowns. They're just laying down, almost sleeping, why would it beat so fast?

He moves to ask him but Donghyuck's faster.

"Jaemin."

Jaemin looks up at Donghyuck upon hearing his name, a curious look on his face and he only notices now that Donghyuck looks a bit uneasy.

"What's up?" He tries.

"Are we friends?"

Jaemin feels a thump in his chest. Has the time already come? The time to face his feelings and stop pretending they don't exist. Donghyuck's staring at him and Jaemin feels his heart caught in his throat.

Is that why Donghyuck seemed so uncomfortable? Did he figure out how Jaemin felt about him? But Jaemin doesn't want to lose Donghyuck. He knows it might be selfish, but he likes being able to kiss and hug him whenever he wants. But he also knows he wants a bit more than that.

"Are we?" Jaemin laughs nervously, still hoping to make the atmosphere less awkward but nothing changes. "Do you want to?"

They're so close he can see Donghyuck gulping before he bites his lip for a second so he sits up to look at him properly.

He feels his heart being ripped apart when Donghyuck doesn't say anything. Jaemin thought he had gotten his heart broken before, but now only does he understand what it really is.

"Friends don't kiss." Donghyuck says finally.

"Yeah, that's why I thought-"

"No, I mean-" Donghyuck starts getting closer to Jaemin who's just confused about what's happening now. "I don't consider you a friend. Do you?"

Jaemin would like to lie but he can't, so he shakes his head.

"Good. Then we're not friends." Donghyuck smiles before leaning in and kissing Jaemin. It's the hundredth time they do this, but it feels different this time. Jaemin feels something bloom in his chest and relief wash over him but he still has to ask.

"Are you saying..."

"Don't make me say it." Donghyuck covers his face with his hands from embarassement but Jaemin can still see the blush coloring his cheeks and he smiles for the first time.

Donghyuck tells him to stop making fun of him but Jaemin can't stop smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! leave kudos and comments if u liked it that would make me very happy :D


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